Meine Schatz, Paris, Uncategorised

Amor Es Esperanza #1

“Rome doesn’t feel like home without you. I want to run back to Chez Ribe.”

Versailles-Paris, 2nd April 2017


chestnut groves blossom, city parks burst into flower..
plane trees sprout foliage over boulevards, and cafe terraces buzz with new-found energy as Parisians head outdoors to enjoy spring’s soft warm days. 

..spring’s soft warm days..

oh come on. spring ? warm days ?

without you ? just like long winter to me.

huummppff…

a dove that from 15 minute ago busy with some crumbs on my book sureprised and fly away cz my strong exhale.

my eyes just watch out where it goes. it stop in the top of broken old street lamp, and landing on the lunch basket of old lovers.

heheheu i just laughing for that..

i mean,, not that lovers,,

its just something i dont know also but well’ah… i just love the way I’m laughing on something without knowing the reason why.

i licked leftover crumbs of that cheesecake from my lower lips, and touch again my phone screen. 

you message still there :

“Rome doesn’t feel like home without you. I want to run back to Chez Ribe.”

i let that message numb for 1 hour.

i didnt do anything anyway to keep me busy or havent even 10’s to reply.

I just…..

wanna know.

are u gonna send me another messages to complain or another messages to admit that u really miss me..

or maybe some calls, or misscalls.. like u know how am really happy to found ur name in my notifications or ur calls just pop up in my screen.


i hope u never know that i always collect that and screenshoot that with devils mode on, in my mind ✌🏻😈 she miss me she miss me yeah



oh shoots.. notifications again from you, and thats an image..

i should open that :


sweet words written on used wet tissue that already dried..
smells like baby.. like u.

i kiss my screen to search ur smells, i only found my Pour Homme smells there..

we keep talking about how fast the word “Miss” can multipy and turn into huge wave of Tsunamiss.

or somewhere for me to hide cz now i really think wherever i go u haunt me.

U said, “Just hide inside my heart… And don’t try to get out”

well i know u..

even i’m hiding in the treasure box of Jack Sparrow, u will finding me out so.

then u will dancing gracefully cz maybe i’m the only one who failed to hiding in that big pirates ship,, well its actually two.. if u counting that pitty octopus too.

**********************************

Avenue De La Chapelle

3rd April 2017


06:00 Am

its too early for u to wake up, i know that.

I want to ring u up, and yes i do.

achso as always and never be never, it always end up in any misscalled only, in ur phone.
and i can guess ur first messages in the morning will be like :

  1. I’m sorry baby am just woke up 😘
  2. 😱 i’m sorry baby my battery went out
  3. I’m sorry baby my phone was in silent 😰
  4. I’m sorry baby i was fainting 😵
  5. I’m sorry baby Santa Clause was kidnap me and i didnt have chances to bring my phone, but now he gimme back home already 😋

alright, number 4 & 5 was never exist, but 1-3 is the classic script that you always try to dealing my morning attemp, unfortunately – you always successfully – prevent – my anger.

Goddamm what kind of i am, but i really more enjoying our time together.

lemme spell it :

to-gather

no

to-get-her

yes to get her 🤔

08:35 Am – Your Message Cum

“I’m sorry baby my battery went out. Good morning 😘”

finally !! script number 2 still favorite😑

after calling your phone awhile, i know your schedule already..

  1. concerto of all your golden album that takes hours.. 🎤
  2. breakfast and ofcourse a cup or two full of coffee.. ☕️🍝
  3. and showering 🛁
  4. and this and that
  5. and those and these

but i dont know why today you just skip point number 1, and just take 2 and 3 before calling me again. and then you go to Kebab Stall with Lenka for your lunch 🌯🌮🥙

17:25 Pm – My Office

I just get down and say good bye to Charlotte, my deskmate, when your name pop up in my screen again. its just a wow cz today you take more active to looking for me as what i always wish.

i think we were in the “exchange habits disorder” or whatever is that🤔 but i love it.

we talk about many things high or deep.. long or wide.. near or far.. and mirage or exist.

then we just pause in a moment, no words, no talk, just breath.

“are you okay ?”

        “I’m not. i miss u.”

“i know….is that hurt ?”, i asking carefully

         “its painful..”

o God. how i really hate trapped in the moment like this. moment where am just too far away and cant hugs her even just to make her calm. i totally know my princess need more than only words.

        “andrò ad ora a Termini, amore..” , you said.

“amor, amor..espera. Lo so che è così doloroso. e voi sapete ci sentiamo lo stesso, hmmm ? portiamo il dolore insieme, ricordi Amori ? e tu sei forte.. mi faresti un grande onore, per combattere il dolore con me ? solo per altre 14 ore, si ??”

     “si.” (click)

tuutt tuutt tuutt (call dropped in 01:12:17)

shoots !! i really hate this. i know that breath, i know that trembling voice, and that short answer. i know now you are crying in the car that bring u down to Termini Stations. i know that already. 


you are right princess, its so painful…

another TGV cried the horn loudly. not ur TGV. i walk to my bathroom. stand under the shower and rained it up to my head, down to my suit.

i even not yet take off my shoes. I just way back home by walk from my office.

i can make it fast with motobike, or just go home with Berto, my office friend that stay under my Appartement . but i just love to walk along Rue Jean Rey to Rue de Buenos Ayres while we talk in phone as always.

i dont know that a walk, that only can take another 5-10minutes for a tourist, for me will be like 30minute long. well i think my steps getting so hard to move with all this heavy memories inside my head.

sometimes i stopped in some spot and touch some part of flower or building or anything where your fingers was touched it, when we both walked around there together.

then i can really stop for another 5 minute when i just turn the left to Avenue de Suffren. i lay my back in the fence of the yard and just close my eyes. no i’m not tired, i just-

what you called it ?

calling supernatural power ?

hahah. nope. I just flashback.

like i see you, see us running out from Chez Ribe and crossing the road and stop point in where i am standing right now.

then i turn my water tap to cold. not warm anymore. as cold as the rain we had before.

i really miss that atmosphere.

stuck in the moment when we was kissing in the rain.

we really wet. but it was the hotest memory we got from this street, right ?

and i never know that the rain has cherry taste, til i was caught that from your lips.


to be continue in Amor Es Esperanza #2

😀👉🏻 https://admiralovaphobia.wordpress.com/2017/04/04/amor-es-esperanza-2/

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