Vineyards : Gesund im Wahnsinn..eine Weile. going to step this month again..

you would glad.. am still survive.

i walk so long and far, dad..

i still count and keep the stars bright.

… yet exhausted.

today i passed a play ground..

as i was see there not them, but you, me, and me again..

as the park directly being green..and shining..

…Venice….in the spring..

…..our vineyards….. : in my eyes.

my old tire swing beneath Oek tree.

a fragrance wind…

you shout me to go sit in it, not with standing.

and you just laugh as i dropped my face in the ground.

our basket always full when we home..

huge cups of milk and some tuscan served by mom.

well, mommy…

i have no idea what am gonna write here about you..

we have not too much memories too.

but as much as i can recall..

we were there when the stars all down fall..

“look,,get your wishes..”, you yelled.

i dirrectly bow down my knees and start prayed.

i do not believe ancient, mom.

but i believe on miracles.

and one of them is : her. meine schatzi.

she just awesomely beautiful..

she’s my half. she know me.

you would glad her as i glad her much..

as i can see she’s running in our vinneyards, try to catch butterflies.

she’s not that good to catch, not that fastly..

then with her simple victorian dress she sit beneath our Oek tree..

there no more my old swing already..

its become a library.

i forgot where daddy buy the seeds of book,,

or maybe my baby bring that from her country brook.

so in the nite il nonno just sitting in his rocking chair with his pipe..

my baby still want to play outside.

Our old Oek tree now be my bed sometimes..

as she just wanna lay in my chest and read books till you yell us for dinner.

but then daddy just send that meal for us to din Oek under.

i’m with her got romantic dinner without candle light,

but we are heavenly surround by beautiful fireflies..
ah, the rain come..

drop on my nose, bring a sanity.

our vineyards gone, and stop me pulse, back to reality…
Our vineyards still green out there..

is that far as what i feel ?

or I just can start it with a wish :

May this month be gracefully momentum..

That never gonna be old by thousand Autumn…

poems, Richnightson

Noch ein dummer Idiot Engel.

she: you’ve never done anything wrong. don’t worry, it’s just me. maybe we are just not meant to be. Goodnight.

He: i think we are meant to be..

it’s just we need to understand each other better at times when we both are not at our best.

sweetheart..please. dont overthink.



you just dont understand the times.

you just dont understand who you are.

you just dont want somebody keep pretending being something your eyes needs to see.


but for someone else maybe you just a canal.

seperti Canal St.Martin dan St.Denis yang tidak pernah sepi.

mereka pelalu-lalang yang hanya singgah datang..

menikmati apapun yang belum pernah mereka dapat, lalu pergi..

atau berjumpa dengan wajah-wajah lama yang ingin mengenang memory masalalu mereka sesekali, lalu pasti pergi lagi..

pria itu berjalan cepat menuruni anak tangga, kali ini dia lupa jam tangannya. dia mengangkat tangan kirinya, melihat benda itu tidak ada disana, dan mendengus kesal tanpa kata, berjalan menuju Seine.

Seharusnya dengan setelan lengkap, vantofel, dan menjinjing tas, orang mengira dia akan berangkat bekerja. tapi pekerjaan macam apa yang menancapkan seorang pria berdasi duduk di tepi Seine, tanpa koran tanpa kopi, dan sendiri ?

mungkin dia adalah pelamun atau pemimpi ?

penulis blog atau penulis puisi yang sedang mencari inspirasi ?

atau pemerhati lingkungan dari dinas sosial yang kesasar ?

dia terlihat sedikit depresi.

mungkin dia adalah dokter bedah yang menyesali perbuatannya karena kehilangan gunting bedah yang kemudian ia sadari bahwa gunting itu tertinggal di dalam perut pasiennya saat mengoperasi ?

tunggu, dia sudah tidak berdasi lagi, dia melepasnya, melonggarkan krah kemejanya, memasang kaca mata hitam, lalu memancangkan mata pada La rive gauche.

Seine..Kau benar-benar membelah peradaban. memisahkan apa yang dipandang hebat dan… dia menggumam tanpa meneruskan kata-katanya. hembusan nafas sebagai gantinya.

dua hal kontras antara utara dan selatan.

seperti yang terlihat pagi ini di lantai 9 Elysèe Reclus, apartement  yang ia tinggali bersama kekasihnya tercinta.

wanita itu memegang roti dan serrated knife. mengoleskan butter,  menaruh selada, irisan smooked beef, sauce, mayo, tomatoes and cheeze, selada lagi, lalu menutupnya dengan roti yang lain dan meletakkannya di atas piring pria yang sekarang duduk di hadapannya itu.

tidak ada percakapan sama sekali. mereka saling diam.

hanya langkah kaki, hela nafas, dan beberapa benda yang mereka sentuh asik membuat iramanya sendiri.

“you didn’t have any appointment today..?” lelaki itu mencoba membuyarkan lamunan wanita yang selalu menemani dia seolah hampir seumur hidupnya itu.

“no.” jawabnya singkat. sembari mengunyah sandwichnya perlahan, mengambil kopi, dan menenggaknya habis.

pria itu tau betul akan tidak baik jika meneruskan perbincangan itu. dia memejamkan mata 2 detik atau 3, meredam emosinya. menghela nafas seperti biasa, yang sayangnya terlalu kuat, hingga wanita itu meliriknya sedetik setelahnya dan kembali memalingkan pandang melihat ke arah jendela sekalipun tidak ada yang menarik untuk dilihat disana.

tidak ada yang menyadari dia tengah meremas jari-jarinya sendiri dibawah meja makan menyadari ada penekanan intonasi yang salah dari “no”-nya sejurus pria itu mengela nafas sedemikian rupa.

“maybe i will coming can take your dinner first, dont waiting for me..”

“i know. i will.”

he kiss her forehead. she closed her eyes. and watch him go.

no, he stoped and whispering something without turn to face to his woman.

“by the way….i know much more than what you think i didn’t know…”

and continue his walk away.

she just can see his back go down stairs and think about what he said.

she walk back to the table, see to his plate, he not finish that sandwich. she sitdown and take that serrated knife again. maybe she gonna run and meet him in the lift and gonna stab him with that knife, right to his chest, her favorite place to lay.

or just stab that to hers, and then go die.

nope. she just walk to the sink and clean up all.

i know you cheating me.. i know you was slept with him. i know also you was did something with the guy you said you have no relationship with. i know that cz he told everything about you and him-to me, he told me how good you are treat hims and how you dancing beautifuly over his top. he told every d e t a i l e d of it. can you imagine what i feel now about you ??

aside i still keep treat you as my best woman ever, on the same times you shows me all the weird of you being changes. at least i didnt pretend to loving you after i know thats all. its just hurting me much. I’m hurt to see you keep building the lies. I’m broke and destroyed much of these. i’m– mrs.marras, mrs.marras…..”

hahhhh (she gasping) what is this ? she massages her head even its not pain. am dreaming ? (gasping) so its just a dream ?? dre–

mrs.marras are you inside ?”

she sureprised cz somebody yell her name and knock the door.

“Madame Serena, hey ya i-amm-sorry i just woke up (gasping)”

“oh i’m sorry i think my voice disturbing you”

“(absolutely yes) hehe n-no its alright, is everything okay ?”

“yes i just met delivery man in the hall asking for your floor so i told him i can bring it up for you”

“a package ? and flower bucket ? for me ?”

“alright you can check it inside i should go 12th floor to give this card to mr.Barley”

“merci bcp, madame..”

she close the door and walk to her bed. Archer ?? she dirrectly wishepring that name while smells the flowers bucket.

she open the package box, its chicken gordon bleu, fruits salad, tiramisyu, and coffee from Chez Ribe Delivery. still fresh from the oven.

and her phone beeping twice. a message come :

__Have a nice lunch.. i know maybe you still on your bed, and maybe you will keep doing that till afternoon so you would late for you lunch. I’m sorry for not finish my sandwich, that was so tasty, but i guess you put your sandwich on my plate, cz it was spicy__

shoots. why am so terrible ?? she talk to herself. now he will think i’m so mesh. i even cant remember my sandwich was spicy or not. or i just put same chilly sauce to our sandwich, or i just ate his sandwich with tomato sauce. i dont know. i was blank for all the stuff inside my head.

she exhale and throw her body to the bed. watch on the ceilling and think again about what he have talk this morning, and about her dream.

oh goosshh fvvcckkingg dreaammm !! she screamless desperatedly covering her face with her palms.


That man just open the room and walk slowly..

he watch his woman sitdown in the bed side, look out to the balcony distance to the door..wearing white night gown. the winds blew her hair softly, shining bring under the moonlight and crystal lamp on the roof..

the same time a song played from Gramophone :

🎵 Moon so bright night so fine

Keep your heart here with mine

Life’s a dream we are dreaming 🎵

He still standing try to understand the situations, or maybe try to calm his fast heart beats.

🎵 Race the moon catch the wind

Ride the night to the end

Seize the day stand up for the light 🎵

She walk out to balcony and face up to the sky. He walk closer after her. just a way steps from her back…

🎵 I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do 🎵

….kiss her shoulder back and linger his hands, grab her weist softly..

🎵 Heroes rise heroes fall

Rise again, win it all

In your heart, can’t you feel the glory 🎵

She whispering “i’m sorry…”

he just hugs her very tight.

🎵 Through our joy, through our pain

We can move worlds again

Take my hand, dance with me 🎵

They are kissing under the night sky. the same time a falling star just crossing and they didnt know about that. they just kissing till the song end and replayed again.

a salty kissess.. for different reasons from each other mind.

🎵 I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do

I will want nothing else to see me through

If I can spend my lifetime loving you

Though we know we will never come again

Where there is love, life begins

Over and over again

Save the night, save the day

Save the love, come what may

Love is worth everything we pay

I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do

I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do

I will want nothing else to see me through

If I can spend my lifetime loving you 🎵


….Je sais ce que tu as fait….Je sais, Amour….

he know what he should and shouldn’t know.

he know how to clamp his mouth and hold his tears as strong as he can.

he know how to perfected smile.

he know how to built high wall from anybody outside his territory.

he know the truth and how to forgive and forget.

he just dont know how to hurting somebody he loved.

..he just not more than a stupid idiot man, isn’t him ?

L'amour, Paris, Richnightson

¿Todavía eres mía, o nunca has estado..?

dont be sad for me. dont you cried.

all oceans just overflow to me, down in my eyes,

i know for that baby, you won’t sureprise..

dont be mad to me. dont you scared.

all horrors just overflow in me, blast in my head,

i know for that baby, you won’t forget..
dont called me Prince, dont you dare.

all the battle I’ve got to face, are everywhere.

i will run only with Flash, go run so far.

i will not called you My Princess, as what you are.

the sun too shine, the seas so calm without the wind.

So tell me baby if u still mine,

or at all you never been.

Meine Schatz, Paris, Richnightson, Sous le ciel Parisien

Wir werden haben was wir geben..

He : i wanna make love with u..with one condition. we both should using a protector. the most safest things in this world. would you do it with me ?

She : u mean… condoms ?

He : wedding rings.

she : why you do this to me ? why would u love me ?

he : i dont know. i just cant do anything else. i just do what my heart wants to do

she : i will hurt u.. we both will hurts.

he : ………

she : you know we never can be together !! dont u know that ??

he : i’m not God.. neither u

she : dont bring God-

he : i always bring Him in every part of my life

she : okey, so ask to God what He did to us ???

he : He’s not yet done with us.

she : what do u mean ? i’m asking u to ask God, not for answering like that.

he : you can speak, you also always pray.. why u didnt ask Him by yourself ?

she : you are the one who should ask Him.

he : i cant.

she : what u mean u cant ?

he : i already received too much from Him, as now i have chance to be with you.. is the most beautiful live i never imagine before, i have no capability to asking more than this..

she : but God put us in hard situations, dont u know that ?

he : He just trusts us too much, that we can handle it. and u know that. And so, i know we can-

she : u dont make sense. this is not church or mosque.

he : we didnt need church or a mosque to say the truth

she : stop it. just tell me, where our relationship will go ?

he : am not the only one Captain in this Ship.. i’m with you, we will decide it together.

she : listen, i think i cant do it anymore.

he : ………

she : i’m so tired with all

he : ……..

she : too much problems that make me stuck

he : …….

she : are u listen to me or not ?!

he : i am

she : why u silent ?

he : i’m just waiting for your last question

she : how if i still love someone else ?

he : i cant do anything with that. thats your feelings..

she : what u mean ?

he : we have efforts for what we feel

she : so u think i have no effort ?

he : ofcourse u have.. effort is not a responsibility, but willingness.

she : so what u will do if i love another guy ?

he : i wont harm u. i’m just gonna pray

she : to take me back ? and you win me again ?

he : win you ? so its may have another person to lose then. pray for someone else’s lose, is bad.

she : then ?

he : i just wanna asking a strong heart to handle myself.. a strong eyes to hold my tears. and a strong knees for always pray for you happiness.. if only i will be the one who should lose. thats all.