Sterben Für Dich.. (I Die For You..)

Arrish just woke up down the big palm tree, on the long chair of Promenade des Berges, along the left bank of Seine. Tequila smells from his mouth. he stare on his watch, 6:05 Am already. he still remember he was looked that same watch 4:12 Am before he fall asleep.

he get sit and just staring around with rubbing his face and his waves hair. he just standing up to go for some coffee then a Newspaper man just offer him some of his stuff :

“Journal, Monsieur ?”

he take Le Croix, his daily Newspaper.

“A motorcycle had crased into a building because of break failure. 2 victims being evacuated to American Hospital of Paris, but only one survived”

He just open his mouth with trembling and almost falling down after stare at the picture of that Newspaper headline. He took something from his pocket and give to that man and directly run to high road with glazed eyes.

that newspaper man looked so happy, he keep smiling with handling $50 from Arrish, thats newspaper supposed only $3, and he start saying : God bless you, Monseur..

he give bless to Arrish in his whisper.


Arrish just cant hold his tears, even he tried to hold with squeezing his arms and bite his lip. his gasp still echoing through the taxi.

“Sir, are you okay ?”

he just inhale and answer the taxi driver with “ok” shape with his fingers. the driver can’t stop staring at him from rearview mirror, he worried and confused, if he just drove a crazy man that will just run after he drop him.

Arrish excatly know that the driver probably looked him with a wierd look. But he hell care at all. His head full of scary scene about what happened to somebody he loved. Suddently her voice echoing his head : 

music background :

he reread again that news, and he wring that paper, he recognized that girl in the headline photo, even blood covering half of her face, he still recognizes well her lips, and necklace in her neck,

directly he remembered the nite when he put that stuff. he still can remember her hair fragrance as she tide it up..

“this A, stand for……..”

“…Arrish…” , that girl dirrectly complete his words. She turn around and looked at him. With linger her hands in his neck.

….his girlfriend, his love, his life. Now. suffering in the hospital.


He take another $50 and give to the driver and run to hospital hall.

The driver saw in the price rate monitor, stare on Arrish back as he jump and crossing inside the hospital, then take his newspaper from the backseat, he read the headline and whispering : God bless you, Sir. And God bless her too..


“excuse me where I can found Laily Marras, the victim of  motobike accident last nite ?”

“Sorry Sir, what you relations with her ?”

“She is…. She is my fiancee !!”

The frontdesk nurse like didnt believe him awhile. Then he take something from his blazer.

“look, we going to marry this week, please i need to meet her”

He shows the nurse a wedding rings, with their name inside : Arrish & Laily. and show her his phone screen, their sweet picture while kissing – set there.

He never understand his trembling hand while showing that ring box caused by nervous for lying or he just extremly worried about her.

“she’s still in surgery room”

“surgg-what ??!! what exactly happened to my fiancée ??”

“she had injured head and heart failure after 3hours rescued, we have great doctors in charge right now, and we hope the miracle of God come upon your fiancée, Sir”

he just didn’t believe on what he just heard. he even cant feel right now one nurse hold his back cause he directly paralyzed and going backward almost fall down..

“a-aam allrrig-ghhtt just please let me know where is she now ?”

“Surgery studio there in the end of this hall, turn right..”

“thankyou so much”

he walk so slow.. like his feet didn’t want to move even just one step. he remember last nite he was so depressed in waiting her like crazy in the Seine. he gonna propose her under the moonlight, he wished. till midnite come, she never been there. then he remembered he was shouting to the sky or anything above, desperately : God pleaseeee !! i never ask anything in my life. i just want her. i don’t care how. i just want her !!!! i promise i will do anything what You want. please!!! i wanna her to be mine!!! please… (he cried a river in knees. suddenly a little rain just make him mesh completely)

Surgery studio door opened

“doctor ? how- how is my fiancée?”

“Ms.Laily…. with God permitions, the transplantation doing fine.. we should do it fast because your fiancées is pregnant , we should save both the babies and mother. I think,  you know about it, Mr — ?”

“Scott Parris . my fiancée…..pregnant,, is that 3month already ?”

“yes.. correct. 12 weeks of pregnancy. are you twins Mr.Scott ? Congratulation cz you will be father of twins”

“I…I ammm…whatt…?”

“may i see her now ?”

“not yet Mr.Scott, she will move to recovery room in 15 minute”

“Mr.Scott ?”

“yes ?”

“do you know Mr.Archer ?”

“yes. he is my fiancée ex. he always try to disrespect our relationship. look, (he shows again the ring box) am just about to marry with her this weekend, and he still dare to met my fiancée in secretly”

“He is died Mr.Scott and-“

“Stop it doctor, I didn’t want to hear anything about him alright, am fully thanks to all your team for doing the best for her,,i will move her as soon as possible from this hospital”

“you can do that after her endoscopic exam. your fiancée got edema, it will give her short or long terms of memory lost.”

“what ??? what did you say??”

“your fiancée probably got amnesia”

Doctor Marthin, we need you over here..”

“alright Mr.Scott I hope she can recover very soon”


Arrish, Laily, Archer..

they never understand how God plan works. how His way should take all the dreams or give dreams to another people.

Arrish just can standing up with head full of something he didn’t understand at all. he scratch his hair :

…archer died…

…laily pregnant…

…laily will have amnesia…

shootttsss!!! what should i do right now !!!

then a bed just going out from studio, a died body, cz it covered full with white blanket. he knows thats not Laily.

and the second bed going out, Laily there. with bandages around her head.


she still unconscious. he walk along her side, holding her left hand.

that bed turn the right to room 1305, her recovery room.

while the first bed turn the left, straight to mortuary.

and suddenly that backsound like surrounding that hospital, echoing whole the hall :

Paris skies full of grey clouds roll..

Raindrops just about to fall..

poems, Richnightson

Noch ein dummer Idiot Engel.

she: you’ve never done anything wrong. don’t worry, it’s just me. maybe we are just not meant to be. Goodnight.

He: i think we are meant to be..

it’s just we need to understand each other better at times when we both are not at our best.

sweetheart..please. dont overthink.



you just dont understand the times.

you just dont understand who you are.

you just dont want somebody keep pretending being something your eyes needs to see.


but for someone else maybe you just a canal.

seperti Canal St.Martin dan St.Denis yang tidak pernah sepi.

mereka pelalu-lalang yang hanya singgah datang..

menikmati apapun yang belum pernah mereka dapat, lalu pergi..

atau berjumpa dengan wajah-wajah lama yang ingin mengenang memory masalalu mereka sesekali, lalu pasti pergi lagi..

pria itu berjalan cepat menuruni anak tangga, kali ini dia lupa jam tangannya. dia mengangkat tangan kirinya, melihat benda itu tidak ada disana, dan mendengus kesal tanpa kata, berjalan menuju Seine.

Seharusnya dengan setelan lengkap, vantofel, dan menjinjing tas, orang mengira dia akan berangkat bekerja. tapi pekerjaan macam apa yang menancapkan seorang pria berdasi duduk di tepi Seine, tanpa koran tanpa kopi, dan sendiri ?

mungkin dia adalah pelamun atau pemimpi ?

penulis blog atau penulis puisi yang sedang mencari inspirasi ?

atau pemerhati lingkungan dari dinas sosial yang kesasar ?

dia terlihat sedikit depresi.

mungkin dia adalah dokter bedah yang menyesali perbuatannya karena kehilangan gunting bedah yang kemudian ia sadari bahwa gunting itu tertinggal di dalam perut pasiennya saat mengoperasi ?

tunggu, dia sudah tidak berdasi lagi, dia melepasnya, melonggarkan krah kemejanya, memasang kaca mata hitam, lalu memancangkan mata pada La rive gauche.

Seine..Kau benar-benar membelah peradaban. memisahkan apa yang dipandang hebat dan… dia menggumam tanpa meneruskan kata-katanya. hembusan nafas sebagai gantinya.

dua hal kontras antara utara dan selatan.

seperti yang terlihat pagi ini di lantai 9 Elysèe Reclus, apartement  yang ia tinggali bersama kekasihnya tercinta.

wanita itu memegang roti dan serrated knife. mengoleskan butter,  menaruh selada, irisan smooked beef, sauce, mayo, tomatoes and cheeze, selada lagi, lalu menutupnya dengan roti yang lain dan meletakkannya di atas piring pria yang sekarang duduk di hadapannya itu.

tidak ada percakapan sama sekali. mereka saling diam.

hanya langkah kaki, hela nafas, dan beberapa benda yang mereka sentuh asik membuat iramanya sendiri.

“you didn’t have any appointment today..?” lelaki itu mencoba membuyarkan lamunan wanita yang selalu menemani dia seolah hampir seumur hidupnya itu.

“no.” jawabnya singkat. sembari mengunyah sandwichnya perlahan, mengambil kopi, dan menenggaknya habis.

pria itu tau betul akan tidak baik jika meneruskan perbincangan itu. dia memejamkan mata 2 detik atau 3, meredam emosinya. menghela nafas seperti biasa, yang sayangnya terlalu kuat, hingga wanita itu meliriknya sedetik setelahnya dan kembali memalingkan pandang melihat ke arah jendela sekalipun tidak ada yang menarik untuk dilihat disana.

tidak ada yang menyadari dia tengah meremas jari-jarinya sendiri dibawah meja makan menyadari ada penekanan intonasi yang salah dari “no”-nya sejurus pria itu mengela nafas sedemikian rupa.

“maybe i will coming can take your dinner first, dont waiting for me..”

“i know. i will.”

he kiss her forehead. she closed her eyes. and watch him go.

no, he stoped and whispering something without turn to face to his woman.

“by the way….i know much more than what you think i didn’t know…”

and continue his walk away.

she just can see his back go down stairs and think about what he said.

she walk back to the table, see to his plate, he not finish that sandwich. she sitdown and take that serrated knife again. maybe she gonna run and meet him in the lift and gonna stab him with that knife, right to his chest, her favorite place to lay.

or just stab that to hers, and then go die.

nope. she just walk to the sink and clean up all.

i know you cheating me.. i know you was slept with him. i know also you was did something with the guy you said you have no relationship with. i know that cz he told everything about you and him-to me, he told me how good you are treat hims and how you dancing beautifuly over his top. he told every d e t a i l e d of it. can you imagine what i feel now about you ??

aside i still keep treat you as my best woman ever, on the same times you shows me all the weird of you being changes. at least i didnt pretend to loving you after i know thats all. its just hurting me much. I’m hurt to see you keep building the lies. I’m broke and destroyed much of these. i’m– mrs.marras, mrs.marras…..”

hahhhh (she gasping) what is this ? she massages her head even its not pain. am dreaming ? (gasping) so its just a dream ?? dre–

mrs.marras are you inside ?”

she sureprised cz somebody yell her name and knock the door.

“Madame Serena, hey ya i-amm-sorry i just woke up (gasping)”

“oh i’m sorry i think my voice disturbing you”

“(absolutely yes) hehe n-no its alright, is everything okay ?”

“yes i just met delivery man in the hall asking for your floor so i told him i can bring it up for you”

“a package ? and flower bucket ? for me ?”

“alright you can check it inside i should go 12th floor to give this card to mr.Barley”

“merci bcp, madame..”

she close the door and walk to her bed. Archer ?? she dirrectly wishepring that name while smells the flowers bucket.

she open the package box, its chicken gordon bleu, fruits salad, tiramisyu, and coffee from Chez Ribe Delivery. still fresh from the oven.

and her phone beeping twice. a message come :

__Have a nice lunch.. i know maybe you still on your bed, and maybe you will keep doing that till afternoon so you would late for you lunch. I’m sorry for not finish my sandwich, that was so tasty, but i guess you put your sandwich on my plate, cz it was spicy__

shoots. why am so terrible ?? she talk to herself. now he will think i’m so mesh. i even cant remember my sandwich was spicy or not. or i just put same chilly sauce to our sandwich, or i just ate his sandwich with tomato sauce. i dont know. i was blank for all the stuff inside my head.

she exhale and throw her body to the bed. watch on the ceilling and think again about what he have talk this morning, and about her dream.

oh goosshh fvvcckkingg dreaammm !! she screamless desperatedly covering her face with her palms.


That man just open the room and walk slowly..

he watch his woman sitdown in the bed side, look out to the balcony distance to the door..wearing white night gown. the winds blew her hair softly, shining bring under the moonlight and crystal lamp on the roof..

the same time a song played from Gramophone :

🎵 Moon so bright night so fine

Keep your heart here with mine

Life’s a dream we are dreaming 🎵

He still standing try to understand the situations, or maybe try to calm his fast heart beats.

🎵 Race the moon catch the wind

Ride the night to the end

Seize the day stand up for the light 🎵

She walk out to balcony and face up to the sky. He walk closer after her. just a way steps from her back…

🎵 I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do 🎵

….kiss her shoulder back and linger his hands, grab her weist softly..

🎵 Heroes rise heroes fall

Rise again, win it all

In your heart, can’t you feel the glory 🎵

She whispering “i’m sorry…”

he just hugs her very tight.

🎵 Through our joy, through our pain

We can move worlds again

Take my hand, dance with me 🎵

They are kissing under the night sky. the same time a falling star just crossing and they didnt know about that. they just kissing till the song end and replayed again.

a salty kissess.. for different reasons from each other mind.

🎵 I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do

I will want nothing else to see me through

If I can spend my lifetime loving you

Though we know we will never come again

Where there is love, life begins

Over and over again

Save the night, save the day

Save the love, come what may

Love is worth everything we pay

I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do

I want to spend my lifetime loving you

If that is all in life I ever do

I will want nothing else to see me through

If I can spend my lifetime loving you 🎵


….Je sais ce que tu as fait….Je sais, Amour….

he know what he should and shouldn’t know.

he know how to clamp his mouth and hold his tears as strong as he can.

he know how to perfected smile.

he know how to built high wall from anybody outside his territory.

he know the truth and how to forgive and forget.

he just dont know how to hurting somebody he loved.

..he just not more than a stupid idiot man, isn’t him ?

Meine Schatz, Paris, Richnightson, Sous le ciel Parisien

Filles masquées sur les enfers.

Well..for me. Success is like while we gonna do onani or masturbate. you can only reach it right, with your own hand

biadab !! bedebah !!

umpatku tak henti henti.

aku tidak tau bagaimana aku bisa terdampar di pesta Halloween di bulan April. its too early.

I mean, why should-on-this-earth-i-must-attending-a-weird-party-that-full-of-my-EX ?!!!

damn,, (sigh) am trapped !!

“heyy Archer, are you gonna fvck that cocktail ??!!”

oh damn, David. That guy just cant stop to interrupt me to go down to the floor. but what am doing just, tetap berdiri di pojok balcon, asik menyeruput fruits cocktail yang sedari tadi tidak habis-habis.
uppss,, astaga, hampir saja buah melon tertelan bulat bulat dikerongkonganku, untung bukan sendoknya.

aku melihat Vania, my ex, sedang berdansa dengan seorang lelaki bertopeng. hahaha.. aku hafal sekali gerakan itu. i mean, while she seducing. bagaimana dia mengerakkan pantatnya seolah dengan sengaja menyentuh bagian bagian tertentu si anu, so it will blow your mind to the kind of feelings yang iya iya.

then am just disgusting while i remember how she fake her orgasm while we were in bed. i mean, i know she have the real one or three already on that night, but the fake one, still fresh on my. (sigh)


“tidaaak tidakkk.. dia tidak ada apa-apanya dibanding dengan kamu sayang, lihat, bahkan adik perempuanku mengomentari performance kita. Saudara-saudaraku masih sering menanyakan tentangmu. tidak, untuk apa aku gombal, kamu memang masih yang terbaik, dia hanya blablablabla..”

aku sudah lelah berdiri, tapi duduk di samping Julian yang asik menggombali mantannya, adalah pilihan yang buruk.
10 menitan aku mendengar dia menceritakan tentang keburukan istrinya pada mantannya itu. bagaimana ia menyanjung si mantan dan memuji performance kelas dansa mereka berdua yang ia unggah ke jejaring sosial. aku tau betul tabiatnya. dia sendiri yang asik membuka Facebook adiknya, dan menulis komentar-komentar manis tentang mereka.

are you asking how i know about that ?

i watch out his another phone on the table, the screen still open with various messages come :

and he just ignore and keep talking
on the phone. and maybe he didnt recognize me, or am just invisible on that time.

Damn man !!

and one african boy with mask come closer to me,

‘Archer,, is that you? i know its you, haha whats up my man ?”

he shake my hand and hugs me.

“Daniel haha..oh gosh am great my man (my voice trembling cz he shake my body hard while hugging me) and you still recognize me wow hehe…”

“well actually i already stared at you since 5 minute ago, till you open your mask and…”

“owh hahaha…yeah.. i cant breath well, the smells…so terrible hehe.. so Dan,, what are you living around..?”

“haha yes that why so i take it off. am working in St Louis Hospital since 3 month ago. everything nice here, huh ?”

“well yeahh.. alright Doctor, am glad to heard you works around here but i hope we will never meet in your work place, i want to be health as always hahaha”

“hahaha amen amenn.. so with who you come ?”

“”well i-”  . Am not yet finish my words while a parisian blonde girl come and dirrectly kiss Dan.

“Oh lemme introduce you, sweetheart this is Archer my college friend, and Archer this is my fiancee, Loverita..”

“oh hellow miss Lovey, nice to meet you..”

i kiss her hand.

“awwhh nice to meet you to Mr.Archer.. Alright honey, I just want to make sure you are alright, i will go down, and enjoy your time. Mr.Archer, take your time please..”

“Profite de ta danse, Lovey..!!”

She go after kiss Daniel again, and gimme a cute wink i dont understand.

I walk to the balcon rows, and watch down stairs all the lovers or anything of that, were in dance. well this kind of things just will be make me miss her, alright i will just take a food–
“ohhh Suis tellement désolé Monsieur !!”
another parisian girl in mask crash me hard and spill her cold wine in my chest, i mean my coat, no-its spill in my chest, till am gasping of that cold wine.
“non je suis désolé. c’est de ma faute..”

i try to wipe that wine from my chest till her hand already go there with a fragrace handkerchief, and i dirrectly look at her..

“Archer ??”

“Selena ??”

we sureprized and recognizing one each other.

oh Goshh..why should on this eaaaarrtthhhhhh.

aku benar-benar sangat mengutuki malam itu.

kami memilih duduk di sudut lain yang tidak begitu bising.
aku ingin mendengar cerita apa yang bisa dia bagikan setelah sekian lama tidak mendengar sedikitpun tentang dia,
atau aku mungkin tidak ingat tentang dia ketika aku sibuk mengingat Lailyku saja.

tidak banyak yang berubah. kami banyak diam.
suara music malam itu sangat keras, bahkan bassnya mampu membuat degub jantung bergetar.
tapi seolah kami ditelan sunyi yang paling lengang seketika. entah karena apa. 

Selena adalah gadis terpandai di kelas filsafat. tak jarang aku mendapatinya asik bergumam sendiri di pojok Library.
aku yakin dia akan terus seperti itu jika dehemanku tidak membuyarkan keasyikannya.

a smart and cherish girl, satu-satunya pemetik Harpa di orchestra kami who also a fashion models. dari 1-10, dia mendapat poin 9,5 versi para pangeran kampus.

Dialah gadis idaman setiap mahasiswa Sorbonne University kala itu. termasuk aku.

tidak ada yang menarik tentang kedekatanku dengan Selena sebelum kami berpacaran.

I mean, apa yang asik dari sekedar bercerita tentang Leonardo Davinci ato Aristoteles dan Charles Darwin dengan teori-teorinya ?
bahkan perjuanganku untuk mendapatkan dia bisa dikatakan tidaklah serumit yang kalian kira. atau mungkin dia yang menyerah kepadaku begitu saja.
hahaha konyol.

tapi aku selalu datang setengah jam lebih awal, dan merelakan 10 menit pelajaran berlalu hanya demi menungguinya masuk kelas filsafat.
aku tau dia selalu datang terlambat karena kelas modelingnya. dan aku selalu menunggunya memasuki kelas lebih dahulu, hanya untuk memastikan aku bisa duduk di sampingnya, satu-satunya bangku kosong yang tersisa.
aku tau tidak akan ada yang berani menduduki tempat duduk tepat di tengah depan whiteboard itu, kelas kami selalu penuh jika kami datang semua, tapi bisa dipastikan seluruhnya pasti datang.

karena Profesor kami bukanlah Profesor yang toleran tentang absent, kami boleh absent jika kami sedang dikebumikan, begitu katanya.
sekali waktu ada salah seorang mahasiswa tidak hadir, dan menyisakan 2 bangku kosong yang diduduki seorang-seorang saja, Selena dan Tommy.

dengan santainya aku memilih duduk dengan Selena.
aku kambing hitamkan kacamataku, aku sampaikan padanya aku tidak kelihatan jika duduk di belakang.

hari dimana pertama kali kami berkencan adalah dirumahnya.

Selena adalah anak semata wayang dari Tuan dan Nyonya Frederic Chottard. mereka keluarga yang cukup terpandang, tak heran kadang Selena mendapatkan perlakuan khusus, karena Tuan Frederic adalah salah satu penyuntik dana proyek terbesar di kampus.
ulang tahunnya yang ke 22 kala itu tanpa dihadiri mama papanya. malam itu bertepatan dengan malam diresmikannya Resort baru mereka di private island di Oklahoma.
mereka sengaja membuka Resort itu sebagai kado untuk Selena, Selena Lux Royals Resort. mendengar namanya saja, aku sudah bisa membayangkan apa saja kemewahan di dalamnya.
tak banyak yang bisa ku ingat dari malam itu kecuali Gemerlapnya pesta dansa dan barbeque,

Dan bagaimana aku tiba-tiba terbangun dengan masing-masing tangan dan kakiku sudah terikat di tempat tidur… and am nude.

aku melihat seorang hadis, a nude girl, duduk membelakangiku di tepi tempat tidur yang sama.
“you wake up already..?”

“Selly..what are you doing ? for Jesus sake please help me, who tied me like this ? Selly please gimme that towel, cover me eerrgghh..”

aku panik. mengetahui gadis yang duduk tenang di samping tempat tidur itu adalah Selena. aku meronta mencoba melepaskan diri.
“this towel ?” . Selena melemparkan handuk itu tepat di bagian paling private milikku.

“you would need that for shower later, not now..”

she goes closer..and kiss me. i can see how her breasts swaying and how she move her body eroticly to seduce me.

“please what..?”

“whatever you gonna do, please stop it!!!” .

oh my god, aku sedang dikamar bersama gadis idaman remaja pria seantero Paris, dan dia sedang telanjang menari-nari diatas tubuhku, dengan lantangnya aku berkata stop this ??

Helloooww… Munafvck sekali.

“you say you wanna do this with me ? come on, i know you want it also, didnt you ?”

“yhesss…yhess (gasping) i want it.. (gasping) but please (gasping again) not like this..”

but she’s not listen to me. she took my tie and tied in on my eyes.

“Selll pleaseee !!! what is this ??!!” . Am more panic. No, am really freaking out.

“ssshhhhh…i know you still virgin, gimme this honor. i will make that man out from you..”

She whispering that horror words that make me goosebumps, with put her finger in my lips and then sealed it with a kiss. i can feel her kiss down to my neck and shoulders..while her palms and fingers touching my face and my ear.

She wildly down in the middle of my chest.. tickling my nips and keep running down her kiss to my tummy.
oohhhhh sssshhhhh dhaammnnn

I feel something i never felt before, how she touch, and how her hair just falls and swept my skin during her kiss over my body.
She stop in my belly button and play her tongue over it.

Dammnnnn emmmmhhhhh sheelll

Am confused with what i feel. I feel so shame, feel good, and feel mad in the same time.

Then she bite that towel and remove that from my little one, i can feels her softly palms rubbing my thighs…

Ohhhh hhmm sshhoottsssss

“Shellll pleasseeee…pleasee stop it..!!” (am gasping unconditionaly)

But again she’s didnt listen to me. She keep busy. And i can feels her fingers touching my balls…a second then i can feel something warm and wet covering my little one.

Damnnnn!!! She put mine in her mouth. And teasing it like a hungry kids on their ice cream.

Aaasshhhhh shhootssss that—soo–gooodd.

Selene really know how to treat my lil one, she keep suck it wildly while her left hand rubbing my nip and her right hand just give massage to my balls..

And thats really burn me on.

Till I… I….

“sorry Sir, Miss, do you need more wine ?”

What ?? Ah. Shoots. Aku hampir saja tenggelam terlalu jauh dalam kenangan kenangan terlarang, andai Serveur itu tidak menghentikan hayalanku.

Dia pergi setelah kami berdua menggeleng berjamaah.

“so are you still with Veronica ?” . Selena mencoba mencairkan suasana.
“Vero ?? Well nope. I think you already heard from many people, she was just used me. After broke up I never heard about her anymore.”

“haha..seriously ? well.. If you want to heard about her maybe you can found her down stairs”

“what ?? She is here too ???”

Goddamm what kind of night. Should I asking to God why He drag me to this hell ??

“yes,,look…She married to a parisian boy too last month, thats her husband..”

I just can stared to a drunk girl that dancing on the table, and her husband who’s drunken too, keep laughing on her.
Hahaha now am decide to thanksful to God cause am so lucky, I would have shame if am marrying her.

A crazy hedon materialistic girl, that only know how to spent than to gain. She never spent or thinked to give me any greetings Christmas cards or birthday present, nothing, even 1 Franc. But then she bought newest Dolce & Gabbana suits On 14 of may, the day after she said sorry can gimme any present cause she have no money. Then i recognized 1 month later i got a hi bill on my debit card to buy that suits. Damn she was using my card and i dont know about that. What kind of.

Well am so tired. All proposal and dateline of my project. My soul tired. This night torture me.

I really am not enjoying that party.
Am go back home with Paul..My next door.
He drove me with his car.
I hope somebody will hit my head till am fainting. Am so tired and dizzy. But all this drunken guy make this car feels like another hells to me. I really won’t to die early. I should have to marry Laily.
4:38 Am – My apartement

I open the door slowly, i know she probably still sleep, and her alarm will wake up her in 22 minutes.. As always, or she make it more late.

I see her sleep like an angel, oh how i really miss her.

5 days in Bordeux make me stupid.

I go shower fastly, and set on my coffee maker.. and check my phone. Died.
Omygod.. I even didnt check my phone whole along nite. She should be send me any messages or misscalls. Asshh she should be worried me.

Then i looking for her phone, and gonna check what messages she sent to me. Or misscalls, or..

What is this ? She was in call with somebody at 3:12am ?

In the very early morning ? I scroll down and same number also calling in the same time.

Who is this ? Why has no name ? And why always call in that time ?

Then my coffee kettle whistle,,

I turn it off for not getting noise.

the same time, her alarm also ringing.

Oh Shoots. This phone still on my hand. I put my tray and tiptoe to the bed and cover up the phone in her blanket.
“Buenos dias amor.. Mmmwaachh”

She looked sureprise and just staring at me.

“heii.. (i swap her cheek softly) am i sureprised you..?” . I kiss her forehead. I know she still half asleep.

“whh-what time you come back baby..?”

“couple minute ago..”

I take coffee tray from minibar, i can see her face and her hands busy looking for something from the kettle glass. I know she looking for her phone.
“i see you sleep like a baby, so i decide to wake up you with… Tarrraaaaa….”

“emhhhh coffee…you are the best baby…”

“I hope you didnt mind to have breakfast in bed..”

“noo…It would be perfect…hmmmm…Its smells so good..”

“well i try to found something for our breakfast but seems you forgot to go to the market place again..”

“i did.. I just forgot to take it out from car. Wait i will make something for us..”

She just going to jump from the bed if am not handle her hand stop.

“baby…….i miss u……”

She turn her self and take a seat on my thighs.

“(she kiss my forehead) I miss you more…. tell me…. how you like your sandwich to served..? with tomatoes…? with beef…?”

“with your kiss…”

we are france kissing…

Till drown…

Forget about the coffee.. The breakfast.. The party.. The calls..

We just bitting.. Hugging…
Till all sounds is just a lovely sounds..
Sigh and moan in the early morn.

All of us deserved a vibrantly morning waves,
the greater way than a coffee or sandwich to start a mornspring  haze.

For me, success love story is like this :

There’s me, our life, you in my side, with the kiss.